PARACHUTE
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Back Again + Mess I made + She is Love + New Year
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Back Again + Mess I made + She is Love + New Year
The academic year is drawing to a close and I am left with the inevitable--and hopelessly guiltridden--question: have I wholeheartedly opened myself to graduate school and its knocks on my intellectual/social life, have I fully committed myself to the goals I had set for my future?
With still the regretful sighs and stinging flashbacks of awkward first attempts, in-the-moment + short-sighted decisions, and of course, the rather distressing 여성부 인턴 interview fresh in my mind, I can not yet bear myself to answer. The two things I had hoped to achieve in 2009 may well be delayed until 2010, the future is now in God's hands. But no painful mark on the ego is without consequential lessons learned; at least I am mature enough to take this moment of humility to better myself.
1 The side effects of failure will still visit me, especially at the vulnurable moments of new challenges and intellectual quests, I must anticipate them and overcome them;
2 I shall stop making excuses, they are no longer acceptable in any context. It goes absolutely against my pride to raise the white handkerchief of 'I am an English major' and wave it defeatedly. Categorizing myself and engineering limitations toward my destination is the stupidest way of going about reaching it. In any case, it is so unbecoming to utter that phrase outside of English Lit society;
3 With focus on my goal and destination, I shall also begin a habit of observing what is happening around me i.e. I will remember to look sideways;
4 Rising early will do wonders, especially for a young grad student with no limits. Thereby I propose to rise before 8. This will most definitely allow me to tick off more 'to-do' items in my planner.
2 I shall stop making excuses, they are no longer acceptable in any context. It goes absolutely against my pride to raise the white handkerchief of 'I am an English major' and wave it defeatedly. Categorizing myself and engineering limitations toward my destination is the stupidest way of going about reaching it. In any case, it is so unbecoming to utter that phrase outside of English Lit society;
3 With focus on my goal and destination, I shall also begin a habit of observing what is happening around me i.e. I will remember to look sideways;
4 Rising early will do wonders, especially for a young grad student with no limits. Thereby I propose to rise before 8. This will most definitely allow me to tick off more 'to-do' items in my planner.
Retrospectively they sound like rather premature and pompous new year's resolutions, but this is something I am actually starting this minute and hoping to continue far beyond 2010. Hope they become the brick and mortar for the parts of me that I treasure and respect. Fingers crossed for 2010!
↓ She is Love lyrics
